Thankful in a backhanded sort of way...

So, I am walking into the break room at work to have one of the few vices I am allowing myself during this pregnany (caffeine in the form of jasmine green tea from Trader Joe's!) and the tea packet slips from my fingers onto the floor. Now, I could see how if you are reading this you are thinking "big deal", but to a 9-month pregnant gal who hasn't been able to see her feet looking straight down in months, this is a problem. I am watching the packet of glorious tea sail to the floor in what feels like slow motion - the same tea that is meant to help get me through the day that started at 5:45am when Finn woke up our household. With a hand on the door for stability and a grunt for sheer motivation, I bend over to pick up my tea packet only to stand up face-to-face with a co-worker who had proceeded to watch the entire thing shake down without offering any type of assistance to me whatsoever. Honestly.

Now, anyone who knows me can vouch that I am sensitive and get my feelings hurt probably easier than others. Perhaps OVERLY sensitive could be used as a descriptor and adding pregnancy hormones to this mix does not help anything, but I am officially OVER selfish people. This unfortunately clueless man has no idea that his actions, or lack there of, have set me off on a tangent of rehashing all the things people have done recently that have disappointed me or hurt my feelings. But, in writing all this down it has allowed me to vent and get it off my chest. Especially since I know that people will continue to be selfish and self-serving and I can only be responsible for how I let it affect me or react to it.

So, I am thankful to those who have reached out to me during this pregnancy to send congrats, check in periodically to see how I am feeling, offer advice or funny anecdotes to get me through difficult days, post on this page, or just let me know that they are thinking about me and my growing family. My plan is to take note of those who have shown this type of kindness to me and make sure to pay it forward AND continue to show my gratitude. In addition, I will look inwardly to make sure I am not being selfish and will strive to reach out to those in need...you never know when someone just needs to know you are thinking about them or care how they are doing. And, if a pregnant woman ever drops ANYTHING in front of me when I am no longer with child, you can bet I am going to do my best to get it for her.