Lucky Lady

This morning I woke up tired and feeling as though I was getting sick, which was not surprising to me since Finn was a wet, runny little guy yesterday. Mark took Finn's temperature just to see if his annoying fever had returned and although we found him to be fever-less, we decided to keep him home on this rainy Friday. He didn't seem to mind because I asked him if he wanted to go to school today and he responded with "No, I stay here wis Mommy!" (Also, that is not a misspelling, but that is how he pronounces "with" these days!)

I hate to admit that my first thought of having both boys with me here again was not positive. Knowing full well we would be stuck in the house because the weather looked ominous and as if the clouds were going to flood at any minute (which they did!), I cringed a bit at thinking of how challenging my day was going to be. However, as soon as Finn asked me to "cuddle wis him" I knew that I was a lucky lady and had to change MY attitude. Not only did we not have to go out in this ugly weather (thanks to my rad husband who brought lunch home), we could cuddle, giggle, color, make silly faces and spend quality time together. There will be a time when my boys will not want to cuddle with me, won't giggle at the ridiculous stories I tell or silly faces I make, who will think that coloring is for babies or who would rather spend time with their friends than hang out with old Mom. I have to cherish these moments because they are precious and beautiful and fleeting with each passing moment.

To my Finn, may you continue to always make us laugh and smile at your hilarious personality and challenge ideas put in front of you that you don't agree with. However, could you lay off all the "why's" you've been throwing out recently?? :) And please don't get too big or too cool to cuddle wis Mommy. Nobody loves you like your Mommy, I promise!

To my Tate, may you always keep your smiley & mellow personality even as life throws curveballs at you, which it always will, as you get older. You are such a sweet little soul and we love you so much! And please don't get too big or too cool to cuddle wis Mommy either, but anytime you want to outgrow the spitting up, I am ready!

Seriously, look at these cuties. How can I think I am anything other than lucky?

Disclaimer - I know it seems like my children are always in jammies, but I swear they wear real clothes too!

February Fever

Our house has been filled with fever this February and unfortunately it has been the abnormally high body temperature version for Finn. I would prefer it were the intense nervous excitement definition of fever, but alas it hasn't been. Finn came home from school yesterday with a temperature of 103 and he just had one last week as well. Enough already with the yucky germs in our house and we would like a sick-free week or two please!

Other than fevers and all around grouchiness because of illness, we have been doing well otherwise. Tate is growing like a weed and is an all-around happy, mellow, smiley little guy. Very recently he has realized that those hands and fingers that he has been wiggling actually belong to him and he can grab for toys on his activity mat. He is still wonderful at spitting up, but it doesn't seem to bother him.

I lined up a babysitter for yesterday and Mark & I went on a date to happy hour! Once we got over the fact that we didn't have a child in the backseat (and that was the way it was supposed to be) and that we didn't need to ask for a highchair, set out cheerios and sippy cup or locate a binky, we were on our way to relaxing conversation! It was nice to be able to spend time with him, out in public, without a child in tow. I love our children, but it was a really good break for us. Finn did cry for about 20 minutes after we left according to the report our babysitter gave us when we returned, but he was happily playing and finishing a puzzle with her when we got back. We have a dinner planned next week so hopefully all goes well again!


And, I received results from my Doctor that he got all the pre-cancerous cells out and my pathology report came back clear. I do need to get checked regularly, but it was the best news I could have asked for!


Ok, off to watch a little bit of kid TV and cuddle time with Finn so he can rest up and kick this fever!

My Birthday Month Begins!!

So, I love birthdays and my love of them seems to have been passed down to Finn. To clarify, Finn loves a party and it doesn't have to be a birthday party. I think that is a trait he received from Grandma Kinnane! But as much as I love birthdays, I REALLY love my own birthday and always have. My Mom used to decorate for our birthdays and there was always a fun celebration in store. Once I went away to college, my new friends (who have become some of my very best on this planet) took over the reins of the celebration planning for my big day. When Mark and I met during our last year of college, I made it abundantly clear that my birthday was meant for celebrating and I intended to celebrate the entire month of February. Since my birthday falls at the end of the month (the 27th, in case you were wondering) it is ideal to enjoy it for the entire month.

Now don't get me wrong, there is not a celebration each and every day. But, I have been known to announce it is my birthday month every so often and even asked Mark last night if he knew what today was. He accidently replied with "Tuesday", but then quickly remembered it was the start of my birthday month.

For my birthday this year I am hoping for good news from my Doctor who recently removed some pre-cancerous cells from a mole that was biopsied and found to be atypical. I was a mess for the past two weeks and even though pre-cancerous is not the same thing as cancerous, just hearing that word was enough to push me into an emotional state. Most of you will know that I lost my precious Mom to breast cancer when I was 19 and Mark lost his Mom as well to cancer, so hearing that word in regard to my own health was super scary. I would look at my two little boys and burst into tears. But, the Doctor doesn't seem too concerned and is hopeful he got it all so it won't be a concern in the future. Fingers crossed for positive results to come.

We are planning to celebrate down in Orange County with my family and friends at the end of the month and I hope to take lots of pictures and make lots of fun memories with everyone. Oh, and a beach cruiser would be nice too! :)

Hope everyone is well and here are some new photos of Big Brother Finn and Tate the Freight. Love these boys!

Happy Spitter and more

This has been a bit of a transition welcoming our second baby into the family, although we couldn't imagine our lives any other way now. Tate has been such a blessing to us and is a super sweet, cuddly, smiley little guy. He does come with a disclaimer though for anyone who wants to hold him - he is a spitter! Our Doctor labeled him a "Happy Spitter" at his check-up yesterday (where we also found that he weighs 11lbs and is 22 inches long!) and confirmed that he is not concerned at all with the spit up since he is gaining weight well and seems content otherwise. It is more of an inconvenience and a laundry nightmare, but otherwise innocent. I am currently doing a load of laundry that contains 99% spit-up soaked clothing/blankets/burp cloths, so Dr. Brennan was NOT kidding!

All in all we are doing well. The weather up here in beautiful Santa Barbara county was very rainy and gray for awhile around the holidays, which did nothing to help my already gloomy state of mind. I seem to be affected by Baby Blues after the birth of my children (same thing happened with Finn), but am doing my best to be proactive about having a plan each day and getting out of the house with Tate more often. I am so thankful for some wonderful friends in town who have made sure I have something on my calendar to keep me occupied and did just receive the OK from the Doctor yesterday to begin exercising again. Let's get those endorphins flowing! I am also extremely lucky to be able to take a lengthy leave of absence from work and will be heading back in the middle of April so I need to enjoy every minute I have with Tate during this time!

Finn is adapting to our new family member with ease, although he seems to be harboring some resentment toward Mommy. It's a pretty daily occasion for me to hear "No Mommy, you can't ___________" and fill in the blank with whatever activity Finn is doing either by himself or with Daddy. I have been told I can't sit on the couch; eat breakfast; go to the playground, etc. My personality being such that my first instinct is to say "well, Mommy doesn't want to ___________ with you anyway!" but I have come to realize that is not the most appropriate way to handle a 2.5 year old. This parenting stuff is hard! :) I am extremely thankful that Mark is so patient, fun, mellow and supportive because he seems to be able to keep us all sane for the most part. Poor guy could probably use a happy hour or something!

I hope this new year brings everyone much happiness, joy and time to make memories with loved ones. Although I haven't made specific resolutions this year, I do want to carve out more time to spend with loved ones, both family members and friends. I have come to realize that in the long run material items just tend to gather dust and don't call you when you are feeling down or give you a hug when you need it most. Recently I have loved looking at old photos and reminscing about different times in my life, remembering both the good and the bad and all that I have learned or taken away from each experience. My goal this year is to make many positive memories for my boys to have as they grow and start new traditions for my own family. Oh and eating better and exercising is on the list too. I have already lost almost all my baby weight from dietary changes I have made thanks to Mark and am going to sign up for some 5ks later this year with the help of our friend who is a local running coach and runner extraordinaire himself! Cheers to feeling good on the outside AND on the inside!

Thanks for checking in and hope to write more soon! Tate's photo above pretty much sums up how he felt about the Christmas holiday = BORED!

We're back!

Well, we have had an interesting past two weeks to say the least and are having a great time with our new addition! Tate Oliver Barry was scheduled to arrive on Monday, November 29th via planned c-section, but our little friend had another idea. Luckily we had picked up Papa Danny from the train station on Saturday morning and got him quickly up to speed on Finn's schedule because I went into labor that evening. Something seemed different about the contractions I was having from the previous Braxton Hicks I had experienced throughout most of my second and third trimester. After placing a call to the on-call OB/GYN to get some guidance if we should head to the hospital or not and noticing an increase in the intensity and how quickly the contractions were coming, we decided to take a ride over to see if I was really in labor. I will spare you the gory details, but it was determined that I WAS in labor and we would be having this baby in 20 minutes from the time the nurse got in touch with the on-call Doctor.

Tate was born at 1:36am on Sunday, November 28th which turned out to be a great birthday present for his Daddy! Papa Danny took great care of Finn while we were in the hospital and we were discharged to come home on Wednesday. Our nursing staff was amazing and we received wonderful care while we were there, but I was anxious to get home. Plus, if one more person came into my room to take my vitals or push on my belly, I was going to lose my mind!

Finn has been a great big brother and really likes Tate so far. He wants to "see Baby Tate" and lie down next to him. Pretty cute! My sister was here for a few days last week and we had so much fun...we were able to get some Christmas shopping done and just spend some quality time together. I love that we can just hang out on the couch and crack up together. I am so lucky to have my sister!

We are all looking forward to the holidays and are in full celebration mode with our Christmas tree up and listening to Christmas music every chance we get. We have yet to make Christmas cookies like I keep promising Finn, even though he continues to tell us "I like cooookies" every chance he gets. I think that is his way to remind me of my promise to him!

Hope everyone is doing well and we will all try to keep this a bit more up-to-date. Tate may even become a contributor, when he isn't busy eating, pooping and sleeping!

The Final Countdown

Feel free to cue the old song by that hair band, Europe. I have officially started the countdown for the arrival of our new addition. I have 10 more sleeps until we head to the hospital and I can hardly believe the time has come. The nerves are kicking in and I am anxious for the surgery, but cannot wait to meet this little person that has been "cooking" in here for so long. One of my closest friends up here had her baby this morning and I went to visit them at the hospital this afternoon. I was overwhelmed with the sheer adrenaline and pure love that filled the room and can't wait for us to get to experience that again. Baby Cailyn was born at 5:56am this morning and she is gorgeous. She also has a full head of hair and since Tammy and I both suffered from heartburn throughout our pregnancies together (which according to the old wives tale means a "hairy baby"), I am sure I am giving birth to Chewbacca.

Thankful in a backhanded sort of way...

So, I am walking into the break room at work to have one of the few vices I am allowing myself during this pregnany (caffeine in the form of jasmine green tea from Trader Joe's!) and the tea packet slips from my fingers onto the floor. Now, I could see how if you are reading this you are thinking "big deal", but to a 9-month pregnant gal who hasn't been able to see her feet looking straight down in months, this is a problem. I am watching the packet of glorious tea sail to the floor in what feels like slow motion - the same tea that is meant to help get me through the day that started at 5:45am when Finn woke up our household. With a hand on the door for stability and a grunt for sheer motivation, I bend over to pick up my tea packet only to stand up face-to-face with a co-worker who had proceeded to watch the entire thing shake down without offering any type of assistance to me whatsoever. Honestly.

Now, anyone who knows me can vouch that I am sensitive and get my feelings hurt probably easier than others. Perhaps OVERLY sensitive could be used as a descriptor and adding pregnancy hormones to this mix does not help anything, but I am officially OVER selfish people. This unfortunately clueless man has no idea that his actions, or lack there of, have set me off on a tangent of rehashing all the things people have done recently that have disappointed me or hurt my feelings. But, in writing all this down it has allowed me to vent and get it off my chest. Especially since I know that people will continue to be selfish and self-serving and I can only be responsible for how I let it affect me or react to it.

So, I am thankful to those who have reached out to me during this pregnancy to send congrats, check in periodically to see how I am feeling, offer advice or funny anecdotes to get me through difficult days, post on this page, or just let me know that they are thinking about me and my growing family. My plan is to take note of those who have shown this type of kindness to me and make sure to pay it forward AND continue to show my gratitude. In addition, I will look inwardly to make sure I am not being selfish and will strive to reach out to those in need...you never know when someone just needs to know you are thinking about them or care how they are doing. And, if a pregnant woman ever drops ANYTHING in front of me when I am no longer with child, you can bet I am going to do my best to get it for her.